I regret the opportunities I choose to deflect. The ignorance that belittles my soul hasn’t given me the experiences I’ve been looking for. My prejudgment of people affects me in ways that prevent from living my life. The minute I see someone I know do something that, turns me off, I decide to get rid of the friendship entirely, and most of the time regret it. Most of these things that turn me off, later on, seem pointless and forgettable. This frustration advocates the creation of barriers in my life. I decide to close everyone that does something wrong to me immediately, and everyone else who later comes into my life. It’s a habit, I have to change, but don’t want to change.

I often hear my inner voice at night. It’s like a precursor before hitting the sheets, staring at blank walls, and dreading the rest of my sleepless night, It tells me things that I should have taken notion to earlier. Like speak more during a conversation, ask my friend more about her personal life so I won’t seem disinterested, and mostly be more aware of my surroundings and my actions. It bothers me that I receive advice from my inner voice at night, because it’s useless, and I will most likely forget it all the next day when I need them the most.

When suddenly you realize that you are putting more effort into a relationship than the other person in this bond. This could be a friend or a lover, but either way it hurts. And, you can’t help but feel excruciatingly pain throughout your body. Especially when that special someone, distances themselves away from you. But, you continue to give it your all, because you don’t want to leave the relationship without trying at first. Sadly, when trying, turns into working, you can’t help but feel abandoned and alone. It’s effort that gives the human body a reason to continue throughout the day, but it’s pain that slows it down. Because, pain is inevitable, and it will eventually hit you right in the heart.

 -Amanda Lee